“What God has joined together no human being must separate.”
Jesus makes one his strongest and most declarative remarks found anywhere in the Gospels in Mark 10:9. He is responding to challenging questions from the Pharisees about marriage and divorce.
We hear these words of Jesus during Catholic weddings. They really communicate the magnitude of the Sacrament, the sacredness of it, the finality of it. It is a union of God’s ordaining, not just ours. Indeed, as it also reads in that Gospel, husband and wife become “one flesh.”
Yet, we are living in a time where secular culture tries to tell us that everything is relative, and commitments can come and go. Sadly, this has affected marriage rates in our U.S. Church and especially among the younger generations. Over the past 50+ years Catholic marriage rates have declined by 70 percent. During that same period the rate of young Catholic couples 25-34 years old living together in matrimony has dropped from 82% to 38%. These are sobering numbers that warrant our attention in ministry. Thanks be to God, this is happening here in California through the Radiate Love Marriage Initiative, launched by my brother bishops of California and me this year. The initiative is refreshing in that speaks to many different groups that are touched by the fabric of marriage in our communities.
For married couples, Radiate Love calls you to make time this year to grow together as a couple and take advantage of the many helps, tools, and ministries the Church offers to accompany your lifelong journey together. For parents, have intentional conversations with your children about what it means to live a life of love following the example of Jesus. For couples living together, the message is that Christ absolutely loves you and wants to give you the abundant life he has promised. Don’t settle for the insecurity of an uncommitted life but be patient with yourselves. Christian marriage calls us to a mature commitment and a disposition to model the love of Christ in good times and bad. The same invitation applies if you have already experienced the loss of a marriage through divorce. The annulment process can serve not only to examine whether your marriage was lacking in some essential aspect, but also to bring healing and growth for new life.
One of the qualities that is so important to a lasting and fulfilling marriage is self-sacrifice. Jesus models this for us in many ways. “Love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (Jn 15:12-13). And His act of offering himself exemplifies the total and definitive self-giving that is made in marriage. That is why he is described as the bridegroom (Jn 3:29)… and we the Church are his bride (Eph 5:32).
As a priest and a bishop, I was not called to the vocation of marriage. However, my role in conferring God’s blessing upon the union and witnessing the bride and groom minister the Sacrament of Marriage to one another through their vows, has been a beautiful beacon of joy and hope in my ministry through the years.
Just as we are recapturing our love for the Body and Blood of our Lord during the ongoing Eucharistic Revival, we can also recommit ourselves to living the beauty of Catholic marriage and sharing its powerful story in our family homes, in our parishes and in the wider community. It’s too good to keep it to ourselves!
May God bless you and your loved ones.