The first thing to do is to pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you to the right Spiritual Director for you. This is important. Personalities sometimes clash. Spiritualities can also clash. If you are very conservative or traditional, you may not feel comfortable with someone who is very liberal or progressive. It is important to find a director that you can trust, and with whom you feel at ease. This is true for the director, as well. You don’t need to make a commitment on the first visit. It may take 2 or 3 visits to know if there is a good match.
Some Spiritual Directors charge a nominal fee for Spiritual Direction. Others do not charge anything, although they will not refuse a donation. The Diocese can also give you that information.
Personally, I do very little individual spiritual direction. I have been trained and certified as a Spiritual Director, but I usually use my skills and training in other areas—prayer groups, bible studies, book clubs, adult spirituality, prayer ministry, teaching, and occasional spiritual counsel. I don’t charge for Spiritual Direction, and I don’t advertise.
I have the sense that if we are ready for, and in need of a Spiritual Director, God will lead us to the one that is right for us, if we are sincerely looking. The first step is to pray for the right one. I found one of my former spiritual directors, after reading his book on Contemplative Prayer, and then discovering that he was only a few miles away from me. So I called and made an appointment with him. He was a priest and a qualified Spiritual Director, but did not advertise.
Unless we are ready to change our lives and abandon ourselves to the will of God, we are not ready for Spiritual Direction, or to be a Spiritual Director.
Who can benefit by Catholic Spiritual Direction?
Most priests and religious, as well as those who are discerning a Vocation to religious life are expected to have a Spiritual Director. In addition to these, there are many lay persons called to ministry in the Church who also need a Spiritual Director. Whenever we are involved in evangelization, teaching, or counseling we need to be accountable to a Spiritual Director or some spiritual authority. With the advent of the Charismatic Renewal, many lay people are operating in the use of various spiritual gifts; such as healing, prophecy, miracles, and visions. It is especially necessary for these people to receive Spiritual Direction.
In my observation, very few lay people really know what Spiritual Direction is or are ready to make a commitment to Spiritual Direction. Spiritual Direction requires availability, commitment, vulnerability, and accountability on the part of the directee, as well as the Spiritual Director. Spiritual Direction requires that one be morally and psychologically mature, with a formed Catholic Conscience, as well as a desire to abandon oneself to the will of God.
Some people today seek a Spiritual Director because it is fashionable, like having one’s own Guru. Some lay persons, influenced by our New Age culture, are really looking for a psychic or fortune teller to tell them what to do or to reveal the future to them. Some people are looking for a Spiritual Director because it is a requirement for some religious program or group. Some people are seeking some kind of pastoral counseling, rather than Spiritual Direction. There are also some who are searching for the truth and want a spiritual companion—someone with insight to listen to them, rather than a Spiritual Director.
Many committed Catholics might do better starting out with some form of “Introduction to Spiritual Direction” and a study program that involves prayer and study of Scripture and the Faith. They may also benefit by Group Spiritual Direction, or the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, rather than individual Spiritual Direction.
Lenora Grimaud is a Spiritual Director and Writer who attends St. Francis of Assisi Parish in La Quinta.