“I couldn’t believe it. He left after I gave him the best years of my life. With his secretary.”
The bad news is that these sad cries of the heart are from parishioners right here in the Diocese of San Bernardino. I know because, as a national Catholic author and speaker from Palm Desert, I’ve worked for over 20 years with the separated and divorced. Sadly, being a Catholic doesn’t insulate one from having to deal with the unwanted tragedy of a broken family.
The good news is that, I’m happy to say, the Diocese of San Bernardino is becoming a leader in a national ministry to the separated and divorced:
From my pastor’s (Father Jack Barker) permission in La Quinta in the early nineties, I was able to develop the nation’s leading parish program for the separated and divorced, “The Catholic’s DIVORCE SURVIVAL” program. The powerful 12-DVD series is a facilitator-led, weekly support model distributed by Ascension Press, and now in hundreds of parishes across the US, Canada, and Mexico.
Thanks to its five-year “Marriage Initiative Program” and the tireless efforts of Mario Martinez, the Diocese was the first in California to introduce this program diocesan-wide and offer group-leader training to all parishes.
From my training in this Diocese and experience as an advocate helping people in the annulment (Decree of Nullity) process, I’ve published a popular book that explains Church teachings with easy-to-understand examples and stories.
Last year the Diocese hosted “At the Well,” a successful day of reflection for the separated and divorced, and on October 17th another day of retreat is planned at The Holy Name of Jesus, Redlands. (www.SBMarriageInitiative.org)
At the 2015 World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia I will be the only speaker specifically focusing on divorce healing. I’m privileged to share just some of what the Church—and the Diocese of San Bernardino—says to divorced families:
• God loves you more than you know, even when you don’t feel it.
• You are not alone as you carry your cross. We will be your Simons and Veronicas. We can’t, and won’t, take the cross from you but we will help you carry it and wipe the sweat from your brow.
• Just as mankind’s redemption followed Jesus’ death, God promises a greater good can come to your whole family from this form of crucifixion. Trust him.
• The Church as your mother has rules and regulations to bring you the fullness of what God wants for you. Don’t fight her, trust her.
• The best thing you can do for your children is to first draw close to and be stabilized in your own faith.
• Perfect justice may not happen here on earth, but it is promised in heaven—and worth the wait.
• This, too, shall pass.