Then, on December 2, 2015, Damian became a casualty of gun violence when he was shot five times with a semi-automatic, assault style rifle by terrorist attackers at the Inland Regional Center in San Bernardino. Speaking of the power and efficiency of the weapon used to kill her husband Trenna says, “He didn’t even have a chance to get down on the ground.”
Shock and unspeakable grief followed for Trenna and their two daughters, Tina and Tawnya. “The instinct is to retreat within yourself and try to get through it,” Trenna says, but it wasn’t long before they gathered for what became an intense discussion about taking a public stand in favor of reforming gun laws.
Their decision to enter the world of public policy advocacy has been a big part of their journey in the first year without Damian. They traveled three times to Washington D.C. to meet with lawmakers, including Tina’s trip this month; they have spoken out in the media and participated in many state and local events related to gun control. Trenna said she understands that the issue is divisive but she and her daughters felt a strong calling to speak out after Damian’s killing.
“The girls and I are quite resolved in pushing forward with it because the more we looked into this after [December 2] happened the more holes we found in our laws,” she says. “I don’t want to do away with the Second Amendment but there are some common sense things you can do.”
The Meins family maintains its strong connection to Catholic education in the Diocese. Trenna is the principal of Sacred Heart School in Rancho Cucamonga while Tawnya teaches sixth grade at St. Catherine of Alexandria School in Riverside. Trenna returned to work last January, less than two months after losing her husband, and says she received great support from the school community.
“It was difficult when the kids would come up and say, ‘I’m sorry about your husband,’ ” she recalls. “But that sweetness, that innocence, it helped.”
Another important support for the Meins family has been regular contact with the families of others who were killed in the attack. When the Diocese held a prayer service to mark the one-year anniversary earlier this month, Trenna was instrumental in inviting family members of nine of the 14 victims to attend.
“It’s good because we know exactly what the other is going through,” she says, referring to the group of families that meet regularly. “It’s better than therapy.”
The past year has also seen Tawnya’s engagement, which happened shortly after Damian’s death. The groom-to-be was just days away from asking Damian for his daughter’s hand in marriage when the tragedy struck, Trenna says. He would eventually ask Trenna for her blessing.
Outside of the Dec. 1 prayer service, the Meins family planned to mark the one-year anniversary privately with a number of extended family members coming in from out of the area. Drawing on the strength of family and faith, Trenna says she and her daughters are trying to forge ahead with purpose, because they say that is what Damian would want.
“We’ve had several conversations, God and I,” Trenna says. “And when you absolutely think He’s not there, He is.
“He’s carrying us. I don’t know how you could get through it any other way.”